Thursday, March 12, 2009
essay 4 rough rough rough draft not finished (ntevenclose)
If all one knows is “chattin with the babes online,” how will they proceed to make meaningful conversation when the time comes where they must interact in the real life? From personal experience, I know that people will say things online or through text messages that they would normally not dare say to someone in person. The social networking website is like a façade behind which the user feels confident and invincible to the social boundaries that bind them in real life. For example, if a girl gives me a compliment while we are messaging on Facebook, my natural response is something like “thanks sweetie.” However, I have noticed I am far too shy to call an unfamiliar girl such a name in person. So when a teenager spends too much time chatting online, they may confuse what is appropriate in face to face conversation due to lack of experience. Another thing that people who spend a lot of time on social networking sites may lack is the ability to read body language (a skill I have found particularly handy on many occasions). For instance, I have been observant enough to realize that when someone at a party is standing with their arms crossed, they might feel some kind of discomfort. Again, someone without this experience might confuse the person’s unvoiced signals, only to say the wrong thing, or be rejected.
Websites like Myspace and Facebook make networking so easy. The problem here is that networking online really is too easy. It is much easier to do something like make a new business connection while chatting online because one has the liberty of thinking about what they want to say next as the other person types. This is not a reality in face to face interactions; quick wits and being personable are what can make or break a potentially important conversation. This can be crucial in so many vital social situations such as job interviews, meeting new people, talking to girls, etc.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Reflective Letter rough draft (~70% comp)
Seeing as how writing is not my favorite subject, there are some obvious areas within the necessary skills of writing that I consider to be my weaknesses. One that I particularly notice is that I need to improve on my transitions from paragraph to paragraph. For example, in my essay "From Darkness to Light, A Story of Heroism", I end my first body paragraph which suggests that a hero is someone who will do anything for their fellow man with this sentence: “If saving a fellow comrade from certain death by bullet and absorbing the blow yourself does not make someone a hero, then I don’t know what does.” The following paragraph brings up my next point that a hero must be able to make quick, smart decisions on the spot, and begins with the sentence: “A hero must also be able to make quick and smart decisions when they are thrown into extraordinary situations.” My transition is not only weak, but practically non-existent. I have since added a transitional sentence in between these two, which reads: “The quality of sacrifice found within a hero might be matched only by their need for sound, on the spot judgment.” The addition of this sentence provides a link between the two paragraphs rather than abruptly switching from one point to the next.---------------------------------------------------------------- ‘insert another weaknes here’-------------------------------------------------------------
Throughout my years of writing, I have noticed that there are certain areas in which I consistently exhibit proficiency. Varying sentence structure and length is something I feel that I do very well in my papers. A paper that drones on and on with sentences that are all the same length and structure becomes very dull and boring and results in a paper that is torture on the brain of the reader. As a writer, it is one hundred percent necessary to mix long, short, and in between length sentences within paragraphs. Along with this, varying the structure/type of sentence is also essential in creating a more readable paper. This involves using a combination of compound sentences, short powerful statements, rhetorical questions, vivid descriptions, etc. My strength in this area of writing is apparent throughout my second essay. The fifth paragraph, for example, contains sentences from a multiple of varieties. I use a sentence that describes bombs exploding and gunshots ringing through the air which is preceded by a very short and straight forward, six word sentence, yet followed by a longer, compound sentences. Shortly following I pose a question to the reader and use the next couple sentences to explain my answer to that question. It is that sort of sentence variation that creates an interesting paper to read, and one that does not become monotonous to the reader.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Reflective Letter intro P
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
work accomplished today for essay 4
- Brief article which suggests cell phones today empower the individual to have their own small social networks and therefore take away from the larger ‘big picture’ society surrounding us
http://hfs.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/48/2/381
- Compares a drunk driver to a driver talking on a cell phone. Article concludes that impairments linked with driving while talking on a phone can be just as bad as those that relate to driving under the influence of alcohol (BAC of .08%)
http://www.bentham-open.org/pages/content.php?TOCOMMJ/2008/00000002/00000001/127TOCOMMJ.SGM
- This article discusses the effect of using a cell phone in public places. It suggests that the mere presence of a cell phone in a given area inhibits social interaction with people nearby, stranger or friend. Cell phone users are said to be less likely to offer help to those around them, and display neglect for the surrounding environment.
http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=OCwupuLPz2kC&oi=fnd&pg=PR9&dq=social+effect+of+cell+phones&ots=O24EQE8TAX&sig=k4KJ2tFxSBt44sf4Bl5T6j1vRiM#PPA46,M1
- Very interesting article… touches on a lot of subjects dealing with informantion and communication technologies
Basically for this essay, I want to talk about modern technology, particularly cell phones, and what effect they have and what role they play in peoples lives today. How are they good, how are they bad? What does the future entail? Etc etc
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Essay 3 reflection
In essay three, I think I did a good job at grabbing the reader’s attention right off the bat. In other words, I believe I did well on the ‘hook’. Although it is short, I find it to be effective because the phrase “it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no its superman” is recognized by almost everyone and the reader would not expect an essay to begin with this. Another element of my essay that I thought I exhibited good skills in was varying my sentences. I used a different sentence lengths, compound sentences, short sentences, as well as throwing in some questions here and there to keep the reader thinking.
2) What were some things that were bad in essay #3?
There were a few things I could have done better in essay three. For starts, I fell short as far as the length of my paper goes. Although I produced 5 solid-length paragraphs, the requirement was for more and I could have strained my brain for more content. Also, I think with some thought I could probably rearrange my information/paragraphs into a format that flows better. Organization tends to be one of weaknesses and that is to an extent apparent in this essay. I’m not at all saying my essay is an off the wall, hectic mess, but there’s always room for improvement.
3) What would you change in essay #3?
The main thing I would change for this essay is just to add length. I feel like the content of my paper was solid, and that the grammar, spelling, sentence structure, etc was good enough to earn a fairly good grade, but my downfall lies in the length. Other than that, a little more time spent on organizing the paper would be the only change.
Monday, March 2, 2009
reflective letter pre-write
-Strengths shown in essay #2:
*Solid hook---grabs reader’s attention
*Paragraphs support thesis and do not stray away from it
*A conclusion that really brings my paper to a close
-Strengths shown in Essay #3
*Sentence length variation, nice mixture of long/short sentences
*Used good word choice to purvey powerful thoughts and ideas
*Once again the hook grabs attention of reader
-Weaknesses in Essay #2
*I feel I could have transitioned between paragraphs better
*Over-use of commas resulting in too long or run on sentences
Weaknesses in Essay #3
*Length of paper—short of req. by a few paragraphs.
*Organization of my thoughts and points
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Essay Final Draft
"Super Obama"
It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No, its president Barrack Obama here to save the world from devastation and destroy all evil! Photographer Stefan Falke took a picture in early November of a poster on a brick wall in Brooklyn, New York. The poster portrays Barrack Obama dressed as superman standing in front of an American flag striking a classic superman pose. This poster portrays how many Obama supporters feel about their nominee. He is hope. He is change (for the better). He is a role model for the rest of us to look up to. The citizens of the United States currently face some rough times. The economy is in a major slump, jobs are getting harder and harder to come by, the country is in a war that a majority of the people do not want to be in and are completely sick of, and almost everyone is in a state of discontent or disgust in regards to the current president (speaking of President Bush). And like humans do in times of darkness, the people look for a source of light. Obama came in during the American peoples’ time of need, presenting himself as a source of hope and an icon for change. Stefan Falke has captured the people's desire to believe in someone who is capable of saving them
Is Barrack Obama really comparable to Superman? Is he really a man of steel with super powers that can save the world from any and all evil? The obvious answer is no, but people know that. What people really want is something to believe in. With George W Bush managing to to gain titles along the lines of 'incompetent', the people of the US became desperate to choose a new icon; a new hero to believe in who can save them from devastation. Barrack Obama running for presidency in a time where the approval rate for the current president was so low, combined with his great skills in oration resulted in the creation of an image for him as a hero to the people. He became an icon for change, shining a ray of hope in the minds of United States citizens when they needed it most; a people's hero. This is what the picture I have chosen symbolizes.
I think in all reality, many people do not even know what exactly it is they want. They don't know how to fix the economy, or how to create more jobs for themselves, or how to end the war, etc. This is why they are so desperate to appoint someone to be their 'hero'. They need someone who understands all these problems in our country and is capable and willing to fix them. Above understanding them, the person needs to be in a position to be able to do something to solve these problems. So of course the charismatic man speaking powerfully of great changes for the better and hope for an improved future for our country is going to quickly become popular with the people. They want to put this man in a position of power where he can the impliment all the changes he so speaks of. Obama is a hero to people in more ways than his promises of improvement, however.
Looking at this photo from another point of view, I see how else Obama is a hero to a particular group of people in a specific way. This group is the minorities of the United States, particularly African Americans. By winning the presidential election, Barrack Obama has done what no other non-white person has ever acomplished before. Up until recent years, the mere thought of a minority becoming president of the United States would be considered preposterous. Even today most Americans, if asked what race they thought the next president would be; I bet nine of ten would guess white. This, however, did not slow down Obama. Obama put race aside and instead related with the people. He expressed his thoughts and ideals for what they were without making the color of his skin a factor. In doing so I believe he gained the respect of millioins of Americans of all decent, resulting in his charismatic reputation that so many recognize him by. The same charismatic reputation is shared by superman, which I would agree is one characteristic that Barrack Obama and superman do share in common. His appeal to people and his skin color set Obama apart as a hero to the minorities. As heros are, he is someone to take pride in. He did not let stereotypes or racism deter him from achieving the presidency, and in doing so he has set himself up to be a hero to American people.
Despite all the hype many Obama's supporters express for him, I believe it is too early to call him a hero. The presidential campaign and winning the election was just the very beginning of the road for him. Having been in office for such little time, Obama has not done anything great enough to mark him as a 'hero'. What pictures such as the one portraying Obama as superman really depict if you ask me is the people's desire for help. They want someone like superman to hope and believe in. Someone who will save them from their struggles, or at least lighten the load. That is where the comparison comes from. And whether he really is a hero or not, Barrack Obama is at least that person. He is an icon that millions of people look up to. He brought improvment and change to the table, which is exactly what the people want, and that is why you can find images of president Obama marked with superman's signature "S" on his chest, posing valiantly like he is here to save the day.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Essay 3 Rough Draft (not completed)
Is Barrack Obama really comparable to Superman? Is he really a man of steel with super powers that can save the world from any and all evil? The obvious answer is no, but people know that. What people really want is something to believe in. With George W Bush managing to to gain titles along the lines of 'incompetent', the people of the US became desperate to choose a new icon; a new hero to believe in who can save them from devastation. Barrack Obama running for presidency in a time where the approval rate for the current president was so low, combined with his great skills in oration resulted in the creation of an image for him as a hero to the people. He became an icon for change, shining a ray of hope in the minds of United States citizens when they needed it most; a people's hero. This is what the picture I have chosen symbolizes.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
essay 3 beginning of rough draft
It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No, its president Barrack Obama here to save the world from devastation and destroy all evil! Photographer Stefan Falke took a picture in early November of a poster on a brick wall in Brooklyn, New York. The poster portrays Barrack Obama dressed as superman standing in front of an American flag striking a classic superman pose. This poster portrays how many Obama supporters feel about their nominee. He is hope. He is change (for the better). He is a role model for the rest of us to look up to. The citizens of the United States currently face some rough times. The economy is in a major slump, jobs are getting harder and harder to come by, the country is in a war that a majority of the people does not want to be in and are completely sick of, and almost everyone is in a state of discontent or disgust in regards to the current president (speaking of President Bush). And like humans do in times of darkness, the people look for a source of light. Obama came in during the American peoples’ time of need, presenting himself as a source of hope and an icon for change.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
My participation grade
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
"They Say I Say" Chapter Summaries
Ch. 5 - Chapter five explains how to distinguish in your paper someting you are saying from someone elses views/words. "voice markers" can be used to help distinguish between perspectives and to tell whos opinioin is being expressed.
Ch. 6 - Chapter six talks about recognizing and acknowledging possible objections to the idea you are writing about in your paper. If you anticipate these possible objections, you can then address them and perhaps refute or at least just mention them in the paper, disarming critics of the element of surprise. By acknowledging these counter-arguments you come across as open minded as opposed to arrogant and stubborn. the chapter also tells the reader to be fair in your representation of objections. Dont just give them a short, shoddy, 1 sentence explanation in the paper. Also, answer the objection by supporting your side of the argument and by explaining more in depth than just saying that the other side is just straight up wrong.
Ch. 7 - Chapter seven talks about answering the questions "So what?" and "who cares?" in your paper. Just clearly stating your thesis and proposition is not enough. You must also incorporate a phrase or comment that indicates who should care about what you are writing about. You must always put in your paper why the topic you are arguing matters. The "so what?" The book suggests that often times the best way to do this is to appeal to something that your audience can be assumed to care about. It finishes the chapter by telling the reader that it is important to answer these questions in every paper you write, even if the so what and who cares seems really obvious.