Writing is a subject that I tend to find comparable to studying a rock in terms of joy and excitement. In other words it is not my subject of choice and I would much rather deal with numbers and equations or analyze the structure of our economy or something along those lines. However, over the course of writing 101 this quarter, I feel I have accomplished a lot as a writer. I have improved upon many of my essential skills as a writer and discovered what areas of writing I consider my strengths. Also, through completing the various assigned papers I have come to realize the areas of writing in which I am weaker and need to improve upon. The following portfolio contains two of the papers that I have written this quarter. These papers are basically exhibitions of my strengths and weaknesses as a writer I mentioned above. In addition, the editing and revisions I have made to these papers, some of which are contained in this letter, provide examples of how my writing skills have improved.
Seeing as how writing is not my favorite subject, there are some obvious areas within the necessary skills of writing that I feel I have plenty of room to improve in. One that I particularly notice is that I need to improve on my transitions from paragraph to paragraph. For example, in my essay "From Darkness to Light, A Story of Heroism", I end my first body paragraph which suggests that a hero is someone who will do anything for their fellow man with this sentence: “If saving a fellow comrade from certain death by bullet and absorbing the blow yourself does not make someone a hero, then I don’t know what does.” The following paragraph brings up my next point that a hero must be able to make quick, smart decisions on the spot, and begins with the sentence: “A hero must also be able to make quick and smart decisions when they are thrown into extraordinary situations.” My transition is not only weak, but practically non-existent. I have since added a transitional sentence in between these two, which reads: “The quality of sacrifice found within a hero might be matched only by their need for sound, on the spot judgment.” The addition of this sentence provides a link between the two paragraphs rather than abruptly switching from one point to the next. Another small, yet relevant attribute of writing I find myself stumbling over from time to time is when to use a comma, and when to use a semi-colon. This is an issue I have noticed common amongst my peers as well. More often than not, I find myself just going with a comma, probably because that is what is more familiar to me. For example, in my essay “Social Networking Sites, Breeding Grounds for Social Issues“, I had originally written a sentence as follows: “The boss might fire his employee for the acts he engaged in while off duty, these acts would have never been considered had the boss and employee not been friends on an online social networking site.” After rereading this sentence, I realized that use of a semi-colon in place of the comma was actually the correct way to write it. I made this change and found myself making many similar changes throughout my papers. Although there is endless room for improvement in my skills as a writer, I feel that I have already strongly developed some of these essential skills.
Throughout my years of writing, I have noticed that there are certain areas in which I consistently exhibit proficiency. Varying sentence structure and length is something I feel that I do very well in my papers. A paper that drones on and on with sentences that are all the same length and structure becomes very dull and boring and results in a paper that is torture on the brain of the reader. As a writer, it is one hundred percent essential to mix long, short, and in between length sentences within paragraphs. Along with this, varying the structure/type of sentence is also essential in creating a more readable paper. This involves using a combination of compound sentences, short powerful statements, rhetorical questions, vivid descriptions, etc. My strength in this area of writing is apparent throughout my second essay. The fifth paragraph, for example, contains sentences from a multiple of varieties. I use a sentence that describes bombs exploding and gunshots ringing through the air which is preceded by a very short and straight forward, six word sentence, yet followed by a longer, compound sentences. Shortly following I pose a question to the reader and use the next couple sentences to explain my answer to that question. It is that sort of sentence variation that creates an interesting paper to read, and one that does not become monotonous to the reader. Another key element vital to creating an attention grabbing paper is having voice. I feel my writing voice, particularly throughout this quarter in writing 101, has come a long way. I started out just writing the words that I felt would address the assigned topic for our classes’ papers, yet they seemed to lack my personality and did not really sound like me. However, I have recently put extra effort into adding in my voice in my papers and I feel the effort has paid off. This is especially apparent in my most recent paper. For this paper I chose a topic that is relevant to me and my peers. Writing about a familiar subject on which I have plenty of thoughts and opinions to write about such as social networking sites really allowed me to speak freely, expressing my ideas how they would sound if I were to be conversing with someone in real life. I would almost venture to say that I enjoyed reading articles related to the social effects of social networking sites and responding to them with my own personal input; and that is saying something.
Despite the fact that writing is far from my subject of choice, I have put a lot of effort into improving myself as a writer this quarter. Not only have I tried to develop the areas in writing that needed it most, but I have put time into further increasing the areas in which I already had solid skills as well. Within this portfolio are the fruits of my labor: two assigned papers and my final exam. I only hope to entertain the reader and possibly teach them something new or cause them to view the subject matter from a different point of view.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
essay 4 rough rough rough draft not finished (ntevenclose)
Teens, adults, and everyone in between flock to social networking sites like new age flies to electronic feces. Sites such as Myspace and Facebook have grown exponentially since they have been created; gaining thousands of new users every day. These websites were inevitably the next step to social networking. Though this new technology has allowed people to make many new “friends” in a short amount of time, I believe that social networking sites are diminishing our societies face to face interaction time, and consequently, overall social skills. Though Myspace and Facebook allow for easy viewing of pictures and sending messages, I believe they replace the need for younger people to gain essential face to face conversation skills, network with people in real life, and learn the confidence required to make “actual” new friends.
If all one knows is “chattin with the babes online,” how will they proceed to make meaningful conversation when the time comes where they must interact in the real life? From personal experience, I know that people will say things online or through text messages that they would normally not dare say to someone in person. The social networking website is like a façade behind which the user feels confident and invincible to the social boundaries that bind them in real life. For example, if a girl gives me a compliment while we are messaging on Facebook, my natural response is something like “thanks sweetie.” However, I have noticed I am far too shy to call an unfamiliar girl such a name in person. So when a teenager spends too much time chatting online, they may confuse what is appropriate in face to face conversation due to lack of experience. Another thing that people who spend a lot of time on social networking sites may lack is the ability to read body language (a skill I have found particularly handy on many occasions). For instance, I have been observant enough to realize that when someone at a party is standing with their arms crossed, they might feel some kind of discomfort. Again, someone without this experience might confuse the person’s unvoiced signals, only to say the wrong thing, or be rejected.
Websites like Myspace and Facebook make networking so easy. The problem here is that networking online really is too easy. It is much easier to do something like make a new business connection while chatting online because one has the liberty of thinking about what they want to say next as the other person types. This is not a reality in face to face interactions; quick wits and being personable are what can make or break a potentially important conversation. This can be crucial in so many vital social situations such as job interviews, meeting new people, talking to girls, etc.
If all one knows is “chattin with the babes online,” how will they proceed to make meaningful conversation when the time comes where they must interact in the real life? From personal experience, I know that people will say things online or through text messages that they would normally not dare say to someone in person. The social networking website is like a façade behind which the user feels confident and invincible to the social boundaries that bind them in real life. For example, if a girl gives me a compliment while we are messaging on Facebook, my natural response is something like “thanks sweetie.” However, I have noticed I am far too shy to call an unfamiliar girl such a name in person. So when a teenager spends too much time chatting online, they may confuse what is appropriate in face to face conversation due to lack of experience. Another thing that people who spend a lot of time on social networking sites may lack is the ability to read body language (a skill I have found particularly handy on many occasions). For instance, I have been observant enough to realize that when someone at a party is standing with their arms crossed, they might feel some kind of discomfort. Again, someone without this experience might confuse the person’s unvoiced signals, only to say the wrong thing, or be rejected.
Websites like Myspace and Facebook make networking so easy. The problem here is that networking online really is too easy. It is much easier to do something like make a new business connection while chatting online because one has the liberty of thinking about what they want to say next as the other person types. This is not a reality in face to face interactions; quick wits and being personable are what can make or break a potentially important conversation. This can be crucial in so many vital social situations such as job interviews, meeting new people, talking to girls, etc.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Reflective Letter rough draft (~70% comp)
Writing is a subject that I tend to find comparable to studying a rock in terms of joy and excitement. In other words it is not my subject of choice and I would much rather deal with numbers and equations or analyze the structure of our economy or something along those lines. However, over the course of writing 101 this quarter, I feel I have accomplished a lot as a writer. I have improved upon many of my essential skills as a writer and discovered what areas of writing I consider my strengths. Also, through completing the various assigned papers I have come to realize the areas of writing in which I am weaker and need to improve upon. The following portfolio contains two of the papers that I have written this quarter. These papers are basically exhibitions of my strengths and weaknesses as a writer I mentioned above. In addition, the editing and revisions I have made to these papers, some of which are contained in this letter, provide examples of how my writing skills have improved.
Seeing as how writing is not my favorite subject, there are some obvious areas within the necessary skills of writing that I consider to be my weaknesses. One that I particularly notice is that I need to improve on my transitions from paragraph to paragraph. For example, in my essay "From Darkness to Light, A Story of Heroism", I end my first body paragraph which suggests that a hero is someone who will do anything for their fellow man with this sentence: “If saving a fellow comrade from certain death by bullet and absorbing the blow yourself does not make someone a hero, then I don’t know what does.” The following paragraph brings up my next point that a hero must be able to make quick, smart decisions on the spot, and begins with the sentence: “A hero must also be able to make quick and smart decisions when they are thrown into extraordinary situations.” My transition is not only weak, but practically non-existent. I have since added a transitional sentence in between these two, which reads: “The quality of sacrifice found within a hero might be matched only by their need for sound, on the spot judgment.” The addition of this sentence provides a link between the two paragraphs rather than abruptly switching from one point to the next.---------------------------------------------------------------- ‘insert another weaknes here’-------------------------------------------------------------
Throughout my years of writing, I have noticed that there are certain areas in which I consistently exhibit proficiency. Varying sentence structure and length is something I feel that I do very well in my papers. A paper that drones on and on with sentences that are all the same length and structure becomes very dull and boring and results in a paper that is torture on the brain of the reader. As a writer, it is one hundred percent necessary to mix long, short, and in between length sentences within paragraphs. Along with this, varying the structure/type of sentence is also essential in creating a more readable paper. This involves using a combination of compound sentences, short powerful statements, rhetorical questions, vivid descriptions, etc. My strength in this area of writing is apparent throughout my second essay. The fifth paragraph, for example, contains sentences from a multiple of varieties. I use a sentence that describes bombs exploding and gunshots ringing through the air which is preceded by a very short and straight forward, six word sentence, yet followed by a longer, compound sentences. Shortly following I pose a question to the reader and use the next couple sentences to explain my answer to that question. It is that sort of sentence variation that creates an interesting paper to read, and one that does not become monotonous to the reader.
Seeing as how writing is not my favorite subject, there are some obvious areas within the necessary skills of writing that I consider to be my weaknesses. One that I particularly notice is that I need to improve on my transitions from paragraph to paragraph. For example, in my essay "From Darkness to Light, A Story of Heroism", I end my first body paragraph which suggests that a hero is someone who will do anything for their fellow man with this sentence: “If saving a fellow comrade from certain death by bullet and absorbing the blow yourself does not make someone a hero, then I don’t know what does.” The following paragraph brings up my next point that a hero must be able to make quick, smart decisions on the spot, and begins with the sentence: “A hero must also be able to make quick and smart decisions when they are thrown into extraordinary situations.” My transition is not only weak, but practically non-existent. I have since added a transitional sentence in between these two, which reads: “The quality of sacrifice found within a hero might be matched only by their need for sound, on the spot judgment.” The addition of this sentence provides a link between the two paragraphs rather than abruptly switching from one point to the next.---------------------------------------------------------------- ‘insert another weaknes here’-------------------------------------------------------------
Throughout my years of writing, I have noticed that there are certain areas in which I consistently exhibit proficiency. Varying sentence structure and length is something I feel that I do very well in my papers. A paper that drones on and on with sentences that are all the same length and structure becomes very dull and boring and results in a paper that is torture on the brain of the reader. As a writer, it is one hundred percent necessary to mix long, short, and in between length sentences within paragraphs. Along with this, varying the structure/type of sentence is also essential in creating a more readable paper. This involves using a combination of compound sentences, short powerful statements, rhetorical questions, vivid descriptions, etc. My strength in this area of writing is apparent throughout my second essay. The fifth paragraph, for example, contains sentences from a multiple of varieties. I use a sentence that describes bombs exploding and gunshots ringing through the air which is preceded by a very short and straight forward, six word sentence, yet followed by a longer, compound sentences. Shortly following I pose a question to the reader and use the next couple sentences to explain my answer to that question. It is that sort of sentence variation that creates an interesting paper to read, and one that does not become monotonous to the reader.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Reflective Letter intro P
Writing is a subject that I tend to find comparable to studying a rock in terms of joy and excitement. In other words it is not my subject of choice and I would be much more excited to deal with numbers and equations or analyze the structure of our economy. However, over the course of writing 101 this quarter, I feel I have accomplished a lot as a writer. I have improved upon many of my essential skills as a writer and discovered what areas of writing I consider my strengths. Also, through completing the various assigned papers I have come to realize the areas of writing in which I am weaker and need to improve upon. The following portfolio contains two of the papers that I have written this quarter. These papers are basically exhibitions of my strengths and weaknesses as a writer I mentioned above. In addition, the editing and revisions I have made to these papers, some of which are contained in this letter, provide examples of how my writing skills have improved.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
work accomplished today for essay 4
http://www.springerlink.com/content/e72pgerbv6etkn7r/
- Brief article which suggests cell phones today empower the individual to have their own small social networks and therefore take away from the larger ‘big picture’ society surrounding us
http://hfs.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/48/2/381
- Compares a drunk driver to a driver talking on a cell phone. Article concludes that impairments linked with driving while talking on a phone can be just as bad as those that relate to driving under the influence of alcohol (BAC of .08%)
http://www.bentham-open.org/pages/content.php?TOCOMMJ/2008/00000002/00000001/127TOCOMMJ.SGM
- This article discusses the effect of using a cell phone in public places. It suggests that the mere presence of a cell phone in a given area inhibits social interaction with people nearby, stranger or friend. Cell phone users are said to be less likely to offer help to those around them, and display neglect for the surrounding environment.
http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=OCwupuLPz2kC&oi=fnd&pg=PR9&dq=social+effect+of+cell+phones&ots=O24EQE8TAX&sig=k4KJ2tFxSBt44sf4Bl5T6j1vRiM#PPA46,M1
- Very interesting article… touches on a lot of subjects dealing with informantion and communication technologies
Basically for this essay, I want to talk about modern technology, particularly cell phones, and what effect they have and what role they play in peoples lives today. How are they good, how are they bad? What does the future entail? Etc etc
- Brief article which suggests cell phones today empower the individual to have their own small social networks and therefore take away from the larger ‘big picture’ society surrounding us
http://hfs.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/48/2/381
- Compares a drunk driver to a driver talking on a cell phone. Article concludes that impairments linked with driving while talking on a phone can be just as bad as those that relate to driving under the influence of alcohol (BAC of .08%)
http://www.bentham-open.org/pages/content.php?TOCOMMJ/2008/00000002/00000001/127TOCOMMJ.SGM
- This article discusses the effect of using a cell phone in public places. It suggests that the mere presence of a cell phone in a given area inhibits social interaction with people nearby, stranger or friend. Cell phone users are said to be less likely to offer help to those around them, and display neglect for the surrounding environment.
http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=OCwupuLPz2kC&oi=fnd&pg=PR9&dq=social+effect+of+cell+phones&ots=O24EQE8TAX&sig=k4KJ2tFxSBt44sf4Bl5T6j1vRiM#PPA46,M1
- Very interesting article… touches on a lot of subjects dealing with informantion and communication technologies
Basically for this essay, I want to talk about modern technology, particularly cell phones, and what effect they have and what role they play in peoples lives today. How are they good, how are they bad? What does the future entail? Etc etc
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Essay 3 reflection
1) What were some things that were good in essay #3?
In essay three, I think I did a good job at grabbing the reader’s attention right off the bat. In other words, I believe I did well on the ‘hook’. Although it is short, I find it to be effective because the phrase “it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no its superman” is recognized by almost everyone and the reader would not expect an essay to begin with this. Another element of my essay that I thought I exhibited good skills in was varying my sentences. I used a different sentence lengths, compound sentences, short sentences, as well as throwing in some questions here and there to keep the reader thinking.
2) What were some things that were bad in essay #3?
There were a few things I could have done better in essay three. For starts, I fell short as far as the length of my paper goes. Although I produced 5 solid-length paragraphs, the requirement was for more and I could have strained my brain for more content. Also, I think with some thought I could probably rearrange my information/paragraphs into a format that flows better. Organization tends to be one of weaknesses and that is to an extent apparent in this essay. I’m not at all saying my essay is an off the wall, hectic mess, but there’s always room for improvement.
3) What would you change in essay #3?
The main thing I would change for this essay is just to add length. I feel like the content of my paper was solid, and that the grammar, spelling, sentence structure, etc was good enough to earn a fairly good grade, but my downfall lies in the length. Other than that, a little more time spent on organizing the paper would be the only change.
In essay three, I think I did a good job at grabbing the reader’s attention right off the bat. In other words, I believe I did well on the ‘hook’. Although it is short, I find it to be effective because the phrase “it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no its superman” is recognized by almost everyone and the reader would not expect an essay to begin with this. Another element of my essay that I thought I exhibited good skills in was varying my sentences. I used a different sentence lengths, compound sentences, short sentences, as well as throwing in some questions here and there to keep the reader thinking.
2) What were some things that were bad in essay #3?
There were a few things I could have done better in essay three. For starts, I fell short as far as the length of my paper goes. Although I produced 5 solid-length paragraphs, the requirement was for more and I could have strained my brain for more content. Also, I think with some thought I could probably rearrange my information/paragraphs into a format that flows better. Organization tends to be one of weaknesses and that is to an extent apparent in this essay. I’m not at all saying my essay is an off the wall, hectic mess, but there’s always room for improvement.
3) What would you change in essay #3?
The main thing I would change for this essay is just to add length. I feel like the content of my paper was solid, and that the grammar, spelling, sentence structure, etc was good enough to earn a fairly good grade, but my downfall lies in the length. Other than that, a little more time spent on organizing the paper would be the only change.
Monday, March 2, 2009
reflective letter pre-write
-Essays for my reflective letter: #2 & #3
-Strengths shown in essay #2:
*Solid hook---grabs reader’s attention
*Paragraphs support thesis and do not stray away from it
*A conclusion that really brings my paper to a close
-Strengths shown in Essay #3
*Sentence length variation, nice mixture of long/short sentences
*Used good word choice to purvey powerful thoughts and ideas
*Once again the hook grabs attention of reader
-Weaknesses in Essay #2
*I feel I could have transitioned between paragraphs better
*Over-use of commas resulting in too long or run on sentences
Weaknesses in Essay #3
*Length of paper—short of req. by a few paragraphs.
*Organization of my thoughts and points
-Strengths shown in essay #2:
*Solid hook---grabs reader’s attention
*Paragraphs support thesis and do not stray away from it
*A conclusion that really brings my paper to a close
-Strengths shown in Essay #3
*Sentence length variation, nice mixture of long/short sentences
*Used good word choice to purvey powerful thoughts and ideas
*Once again the hook grabs attention of reader
-Weaknesses in Essay #2
*I feel I could have transitioned between paragraphs better
*Over-use of commas resulting in too long or run on sentences
Weaknesses in Essay #3
*Length of paper—short of req. by a few paragraphs.
*Organization of my thoughts and points
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