1) I liked my first paragraph. I thought I did a good job going through what Tobias said and what he meant by his words.
2) If i had more time, I definately would have liked to come up with more thoughts and dieas to write about to make at least a good 5 paragraph essay.
3) One important thing I learned from this midterm was that I need to be prepared to get organized qyuickly and think quickly on these timed writes. Speed is everything when your expected to pop out a good quality paper in an hour. I also in a way learned what ive learned this year in writing. Meaning that what Tobias wrote about the writing process is more or less what ive come to realize is true about writing and reading his peice talking about it helped me to realize all i had learned
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Essay 2 Reflection Questions
1) One thing I liked in my essay was the first few sentences of the whole paper. I felt they served as a fairly effective hook to make readers interested.
2) If i had another day, I would focus on changing the length of some of my sentences. There aer a few run ons i have noticed and i would have liked to change those into a couple shorter sentences instead.
3) One important thing I learned from this essay was to write a good hook. I hadnt realized the importance of grabbing the reader's attention early with an extraordinary or interesting statement at the begininning of the paper. Another important thing I learned from this assignment was how to make good descriptions; applying to the senses and staying on topic etc.
2) If i had another day, I would focus on changing the length of some of my sentences. There aer a few run ons i have noticed and i would have liked to change those into a couple shorter sentences instead.
3) One important thing I learned from this essay was to write a good hook. I hadnt realized the importance of grabbing the reader's attention early with an extraordinary or interesting statement at the begininning of the paper. Another important thing I learned from this assignment was how to make good descriptions; applying to the senses and staying on topic etc.
Monday, February 2, 2009
MID-TERM
MIDTERM
Tobias Wolff’s description of the writing process accurately portrays how one should attempt to go about writing. He stresses the importance of letting yourself just write the paper. He advises to just “get it out” in a way that is satisfactory to the writer and that in doing so, the story/ paper will in a sense seem to write itself. By writing confidently and fluently, the paper will end up having the writer’s own unique voice behind it as opposed to if one were to write by constantly switching words and editing sentences to try to ‘perfect’ things as they go which would result in an end product that might sound too loquacious and lack the writer’s own unique voice. He also mentions that writing a paper/story fluently will make the whole process more enjoyable for instead of battling your way through each word, sentence, and paragraph you get a chance to just write it all out, telling a story from beginning to end with no speed bumps in between. And after all the fun of writing is over, Wolff says then the writer must change gears, rereading and editing the essay with a keen eye, editing the paper as if it were someone else’s.
Through my writing experiences thus far, I have come to realize that I fully agree with Wolff’s view on writing. I used to try to write basically in the way he warns not to; I tried to write a story or essay word by word, sentence by sentence, attempting to perfect the paper as I wrote it. Doing this, I always found the final product to be too wordy and awkward. It always lacked flow and didn’t sound the way I had imagined it would as I was writing. In Wolff’s words, I was a “constipated” writer. Only recently have I tried to, as he would say, “get it out” when I write. Instead of piecing together my paper I just write it all out in my own words. Doing this helps me to not overcomplicate my sentences with big words I wouldn’t normally use and helps the overall flow. For example, on our most recent essay I started out writing like a ‘constipated’ writer. I was trudging along through the paper and after a couple paragraphs I read over it, and the product sounded nothing like I had intended. It sounded very verbose and lacked a nice flow. This made me feel somewhat stuck and turned me off of writing the paper, so I set it all aside for a couple days. When I eventually came back to the paper, I said to hell with the old draft and started to rewrite it from scratch, this time writing it all out and putting it down how it sounded in my head. Although the finished product was not perfect, the paper was overall much better and sounded more like me. Though I did not yet read his description or even know who Tobias Wolff was, I had applied his ideas on the writing process and had success doing so.
I even find myself agreeing with Wolff on the fact that writing this way actually does bring a little bit of pleasure into the whole writing process. Personally I am not the biggest fan of writing and have never thoroughly enjoyed it. However, when I find myself telling a story or writing about something that interests me in a paper, through applying Wolff’s suggestion of writing it all out and letting the story unfold in my own words, I find I actually enjoy myself a little bit. By writing out the story on paper the way I hear it in my mind, the way I would tell it to my neighbor, it is a much more pleasant process than the boring and meticulous way of trying to perfect everything as you write. I find the last part of Wolff’s description of the writing process to be obviously applicable to every writer. No one writes a perfect essay on the first draft. Carefully reading over and editing one’s essay is a crucial part of the writing process. I must admit that often times find myself guilty of slacking in this area. I would not go as far as to say that this point from Wolff does not match my experience in writing, but I will admit that I could definitely benefit from a more keen and strict editing job on my own papers.
Tobias Wolff’s description of the writing process accurately portrays how one should attempt to go about writing. He stresses the importance of letting yourself just write the paper. He advises to just “get it out” in a way that is satisfactory to the writer and that in doing so, the story/ paper will in a sense seem to write itself. By writing confidently and fluently, the paper will end up having the writer’s own unique voice behind it as opposed to if one were to write by constantly switching words and editing sentences to try to ‘perfect’ things as they go which would result in an end product that might sound too loquacious and lack the writer’s own unique voice. He also mentions that writing a paper/story fluently will make the whole process more enjoyable for instead of battling your way through each word, sentence, and paragraph you get a chance to just write it all out, telling a story from beginning to end with no speed bumps in between. And after all the fun of writing is over, Wolff says then the writer must change gears, rereading and editing the essay with a keen eye, editing the paper as if it were someone else’s.
Through my writing experiences thus far, I have come to realize that I fully agree with Wolff’s view on writing. I used to try to write basically in the way he warns not to; I tried to write a story or essay word by word, sentence by sentence, attempting to perfect the paper as I wrote it. Doing this, I always found the final product to be too wordy and awkward. It always lacked flow and didn’t sound the way I had imagined it would as I was writing. In Wolff’s words, I was a “constipated” writer. Only recently have I tried to, as he would say, “get it out” when I write. Instead of piecing together my paper I just write it all out in my own words. Doing this helps me to not overcomplicate my sentences with big words I wouldn’t normally use and helps the overall flow. For example, on our most recent essay I started out writing like a ‘constipated’ writer. I was trudging along through the paper and after a couple paragraphs I read over it, and the product sounded nothing like I had intended. It sounded very verbose and lacked a nice flow. This made me feel somewhat stuck and turned me off of writing the paper, so I set it all aside for a couple days. When I eventually came back to the paper, I said to hell with the old draft and started to rewrite it from scratch, this time writing it all out and putting it down how it sounded in my head. Although the finished product was not perfect, the paper was overall much better and sounded more like me. Though I did not yet read his description or even know who Tobias Wolff was, I had applied his ideas on the writing process and had success doing so.
I even find myself agreeing with Wolff on the fact that writing this way actually does bring a little bit of pleasure into the whole writing process. Personally I am not the biggest fan of writing and have never thoroughly enjoyed it. However, when I find myself telling a story or writing about something that interests me in a paper, through applying Wolff’s suggestion of writing it all out and letting the story unfold in my own words, I find I actually enjoy myself a little bit. By writing out the story on paper the way I hear it in my mind, the way I would tell it to my neighbor, it is a much more pleasant process than the boring and meticulous way of trying to perfect everything as you write. I find the last part of Wolff’s description of the writing process to be obviously applicable to every writer. No one writes a perfect essay on the first draft. Carefully reading over and editing one’s essay is a crucial part of the writing process. I must admit that often times find myself guilty of slacking in this area. I would not go as far as to say that this point from Wolff does not match my experience in writing, but I will admit that I could definitely benefit from a more keen and strict editing job on my own papers.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Essay 2 Final Draft
"From Darkness to Light, A Story of Heroism"
There he stood. Sweat dripping down his forehead as his eyes aimed through the sights of his rifle, squinting to enable him to see through the blaring desert sun. The enemy came within range, and the hero did what he had to: He put a bullet right in the chest of that twelve year old boy.
At first glance, that story might seem repulsive and to entitle that man as a ‘hero’ would sound far from right. Mikah King is both a hero and great friend of mine, and that is one of the many stories he has shared with me. The word ‘hero’ to me defines someone who puts others above themselves, and can react quickly, making a smart decision when thrown into tough situations. In light of this, the people who first come to mind when I think of heroes are the men and women of the United States armed services. Mikah has been in the navy for over two and a half years now, and has displayed brilliant acts of courage and strength. He always puts his comrades above himself, and is quick and bright enough to survive in the modern warfare of our age. For these reasons I am proud to call Mikah my friend, and hero.
To fully appreciate Mikah’s heroism, I believe it’s necessary to first learn about his past. Before he first left for boot camp a couple years ago, Mikah was a completely different person than he is now. He was into some unhealthy habits related to drug use and not enrolled in school of any sort. I won’t be any more specific about the drug abuse out of respect for my friend, but basically he was setting himself up to fail and did not seem to either realize, or care. Then, quite out of the blue really, I come to find out that Mikah had joined the Navy, and already had a date for departure to San Diego, California where he would begin training. Talk about taking a huge step in the right direction. He had chosen to get off the path of darkness which led to certain failure. Gun-shots, grenades, explosions, and all those other wonderful perkswez that come with the military life wouldn’t exactly be a walk in the park, but Mikah knew that when he signed up. He is a tough guy, and finding out what he would be doing with his life made me proud to be his friend. This was when Mikah first started to form into the mold of a ‘hero’ in my eyes.
As a member of the US Navy, Mikah is a soldier who would do anything for his fellow man. He recently came back for a 10 day break and had countless stories to tell of intense combat situations where many lives were at stake. He told me of a time where him and his team were stationed in Fallujah, Iraq, where one must always be alert and ready for action. He was wearing his bullet-proof flak jacket when suddenly a gun shot rang out and whizzed right past one of his fellow soldiers. Putting his friend’s life above his own, Mikah grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and desperately yanked him downward, throwing him to the ground just in time to save him from the next bullet. However, in return Mikah took that bullet himself, directly to the right side of the chest. The blow, which he described felt like unsuspectingly taking a full force knockout punch from Mike Tyson, instantly knocked the wind out of Mikah and put him on his ass for a few seconds. Lucky for Mikah he was wearing that flak jacket, for its without a doubt a better alternative to be winded for a few seconds, than dead forever. This brave act to me makes my classification of Mikah as a hero irrefutable. If saving a fellow comrade from certain death by bullet and absorbing the blow yourself does not make someone a hero, then I don’t know what does.
A hero must also be able to make quick and smart decisions when they are thrown into extraordinary situations. The story in the beginning of this essay greatly exemplifies Mikah’s ability to do this. Although one’s initial thoughts after hearing he shot and killed a boy who was merely twelve years old might be somewhere along the lines of, ‘wow, this guy is a sick bastard’, I assure you, he is not. Out in the desert things are different. Bombs explode and shots ring out from weapons of all sorts on a daily basis. The war concept of kill or be killed doesn’t discriminate against age, and when a little boy who isn’t even old enough to be in high school but can shoot an AK-47 is coming at you, it is sad what has to be done. However it takes a true hero to be able to make the right choice, which in this case was to shoot down the Iraqi insurgent despite his age. What could have happened had Mikah hesitated? He or his fellow comrade’s could have been injured, or even killed. For crucial circumstances bring with them crucial consequences, therefore a hero must be able to react quickly and with sound judgment in these situations and make a choice that will result in the most optimum outcome. That person is Mikah.
Before leaving for the Navy, Mikah was a good friend of mine, but far from a hero. Now that he has those experiences and all that he went though, and has shared with me those stories of courage and sacrifice; I now view him with new eyes; He is a changed man. And in no way was any of the change negative. He has gone from essentially a nobody with no potential, to a soldier; From someone looked down upon by most to a man who now has the respect of nearly everyone in this country; From my good friend Mikah, to my great friend, as well as hero, Mikah King: proud member of the US Navy.
Monday, January 26, 2009
essay two rough draft
A hero is someone who overcomes adversity, puts others above themselves, and when thrown into a tough situation can react and make smart decisions quickly. Thinking about this definition, one group of people instantly comes to mind: United Staten soldiers. When the word hero is mentioned, I instantly think of our country’s armed services, whether it be the Navy, Marines, Army, or Air Force. Every man and woman in these branches are heroes in my opinion, for they would all lay down their lives for their fellow comrades and are trained on a daily basis to be quick and decisive when the time of duty calls. Many have also come from pasts where they did not have much going for them. One man in particular who portrays these qualities is both a hero, and great friend of mine. His name is Mikah King and he serves as a DEO in the US Navy.
Mikah has been a friend of mine for a few years, however, I have not been able to spend a lot of time with him recently due to his constant training and being gone overseas in service. Before he first left for boot camp about 2 and a half years ago, Mikah was a completely different person than he is now. He was into some unhealthy habits related to drug use and not enrolled in school. Basically, I couldn’t tell where he was going with his life. Then I found out he was joining the navy and was already scheduled to leave for California to start training. Although I was sad to hear my friend would be leaving, I couldn’t help but be proud and think that choosing this path was going to overall be a good choice for Mikah. And boy was it the right choice, for Mikah has excelled in the navy and soared beyond his past addictions and bad habits, setting himself apart as a hero in my eyes.
Mikah is a soldier who would do anything for his fellow man. He recently came back for a 10 day break and had countless stories to tell of intense combat situations where many lives were at stake. Hearing these come from my good friend who used to be such a different person made me view him with new eyes; he was a changed man, and in no way was the change I saw bad, for he had went from essentially a nobody, to a valiant soldier. He told me of a time where him and his team were stationed in Fallujah, where one must always be alert and ready for action, and he was wearing his bullet-proof flak jacket when suddenly a gun shot rang out and whizzed right past one of his fellow soldiers. Putting his friends life above his own, Mikah grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and threw him down to the ground, just in time to save him from the next bullet. However, in return Mikah took that bullet to his own bottom right kidney-area. Luckily for Mikah he was wearing that flak jacket. This brave act makes my classification of Mikah as a hero irrefutable. If saving a fellow comrade from certain death by bullet and absorbing the blow yourself does not make someone a hero, then I don’t know what does.
---not quite completed, more body paragraphs and conclusion to come---
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Essay 2 rough draft start
A hero is someone who puts others above themselves, and when thrown into a tough circumstance can react and make good decisions quickly. Thinking about this definition, one group of people instantly comes to mind: United Staten soldiers. When the word hero is mentioned, I instantly think of our country’s armed services, whether it be the Navy, Marines, Army, or Air Force. Every man and woman in these branches are heroes in my opinion, for they would all lay down their lives for their fellow comrades and are trained on a daily basis to be quick and decisive when the time of duty calls. One man in particular who portrays these qualities and is both a hero, and great friend of mine. His name is Mikah King and he serves as a DEO in the US Navy.
Mikah has been a friend of mine for a few years, however, I have spent a fairly limited amount of time with him due to him being gone for over 2 years in service. Before he first left for boot camp about 2 and a half years ago, Mikah was a completely different person than he is now. He was into some unhealthy habits related to drug use and not enrolled in school. Basically, I couldn’t tell where he was going with his life, but then I found out he was joining the navy and already had a date scheduled to leave. Although I was sad to hear my friend would be leaving, I couldn’t help but be proud and think that choosing this path was going to overall be a good choice for Mikah. And boy was it the right choice, for Mikah has excelled in the navy and set himself apart as a hero in my eyes
Mikah has been a friend of mine for a few years, however, I have spent a fairly limited amount of time with him due to him being gone for over 2 years in service. Before he first left for boot camp about 2 and a half years ago, Mikah was a completely different person than he is now. He was into some unhealthy habits related to drug use and not enrolled in school. Basically, I couldn’t tell where he was going with his life, but then I found out he was joining the navy and already had a date scheduled to leave. Although I was sad to hear my friend would be leaving, I couldn’t help but be proud and think that choosing this path was going to overall be a good choice for Mikah. And boy was it the right choice, for Mikah has excelled in the navy and set himself apart as a hero in my eyes
essay 2 prewrite #2
I have decided to change my hero for essay #2.
although my dad is a definite hero in my life, the first thing that comes to mind when i think of the topic of heroes, members of the US armed services first comes to mind.
To me, they are the true definition of a hero. They put their lives on the line in order to protect the rights of everyone who lives in our great country.
In my essay, I will define what qualities are I believe are heroic, and then write about why people in the army are heroes. The main focus will be on my good friend who I really look up to. His name is Mikah King and he is a DEO in the US navy
although my dad is a definite hero in my life, the first thing that comes to mind when i think of the topic of heroes, members of the US armed services first comes to mind.
To me, they are the true definition of a hero. They put their lives on the line in order to protect the rights of everyone who lives in our great country.
In my essay, I will define what qualities are I believe are heroic, and then write about why people in the army are heroes. The main focus will be on my good friend who I really look up to. His name is Mikah King and he is a DEO in the US navy
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